Californiacation

Californiacation, urban dictionary defines it as, the process whereby the subject or object is enveloped in a California-esqe hold, whereby everyone is young, perfect but most of all plastic and fake. Obviously not a real word but it might as well be. Sometimes called California syndrome it is overall an obsession with California and all that derives from it, or so we are told. The strong desire created around and about California is seen and heard in many ways. Can you think of any songs about California? Now looking at that list would you say its safe to assume California is a big deal? As true as it may be that famous people reside in California, it doesn't mean that ever last dreamer that drops his or her life to head out west is going to make it big. Yet we keep doing it. Because the media keeps feeding us these ideoligies that anyone can make it big in California. American Idol a prime example of giving even William Hung a shot at fame. The problem however lies in the changes people make to become rich and famous. Move to California, change your name, your face and your thoughts just to make a break into the limelight. We all know how fake the whole crowd really is, showing how glamorous they are through possessions and the fetishizations they supply. You want to be a pimp slash gangster slash rapper like the ones in California? Buy an Escalade, put a sound system in it, loud as possible preferably, some 20 inch rims, with diamonds if possible and a tiny television in the tail pipe and tadah! You're broke. BUT! You now have everything you need to show how amazing you are! And if you can afford all of that then you obviously must be something special right? California and Hollywood in specific send out the ideologies of not only what is "in" but what is perfect. The discussion could go on for days but I don't have that sort of time, so why not end it with one picture that I feel really does a good job of summing it all up. Paris Hilton, dipped in gold, naked, crawling in the desert. Paris being a big figurehecad for Californiacation, with no real talent or accomplishments to speak of she is well known for her "perfect" body, rich life styles, hence the gold. She has really done nothing but screw up her entire life yet we still hold her up as some sort of amazing person with the help of fetishization, as she posseses all those things we asymilate with wealth, power and such. It just goes to show, yes, California may be mostly desert, but HEY! There are naked rich girls dipped in gold crawling around everywhere, so why don't you just head on over?

Cereal Killers

Tony the Tiger use to be a black and white scrawny, singing, silly cat. As it turns out, "back in the day" has turned into today and tomorrow and skinny mini Tony just does not cut it. Nowadays you will see Tony pumping iron and destroying young children as miscellaneous sports. Call it a self-esteem problem, or an overactive ego, but either way you slice it, Tony the Tiger is full of himself. This doesn't really bother me, however the messages in his commercials seem to raise interest.





Well that's interesting. Frosted Flakes make you better at riding a horse? Not so much the point in horse riding however the underlying point is made in ALL the commercials from the 70's up to the 90's for Frosted Flakes. The scenario plays out like such, Tony and a child are just hanging out minding their own business, 2 older and exceptionally rude punks approach and insult the child and occasionally the tiger in relation to some physical activity. Tony replies with something related to Frosted Flakes and the punks retort sarcastically with, "Oh yeah right, that would be good! HA!" At which point of course Tony and the child exclaim, "Good? Their GRRREAT!" Then they eat their frosted flakes and proceed to dominate the competition at whatever sport they partake in as they are then admired by the punks. Way to go Tony, shove that ideology of "winning is everything" right down our children's throats! And with the help of Frosted Flakes you will be a winner and no doubt accepted by all that you wish to be accepted by. This ideology instill the idea of competition into a lot of things our children do, even things that don't necessarily need to be competitive.



Oh well now that is just grrreat Tony, not only have you already buffed up by about a thousand times instilling another ideology on young boys that being big and strong is the way to be, because everyone loves Tony, and if they could they would be you, at least that is what the song says, but you flood another ideology of quick fixes. Don't practice and train hard to get better just ingest something that gives you an immediate result. Well now Tony has "Supercharged" frost flakes making you even bigger, stronger and ferocious. Watching Tony hulk out in his roid rage is all fine and dandy yet it seems to push the idea that now being muscular isn't enough, now you have to be insanely lightning attractingly humongous. And with the help of Frosted Flakes you can in fact do so. Enforcing the ideology and creating the desire for the cereal all in one fell swoop.

Spongemonkeys In America

Perhaps by now you have forgotten, but roughly four years ago we Americans were introduced to a very special... creature. The spongemonkey. These singing, floating, silly hat wearing dilapidated fuzz balls sparked enormous amounts of water cooler conversations. Oddly enough at the same time, they were actually selling subs. Quiznos subs no less. Obviously these rodent like guitar playing googely eyed chaps represented nothing that could sanely be related to the franchise, yet they were still given their own 15 minutes of fame and produced adequate advertising for Quiznos. Oddly enough, these spongemonkeys existed prior to their American commodification on national television. In January 2003 the creatures were created by Joel Veitch in Britain for a short video seen below.



As you can see that video makes no sense. It relates to nothing, it sells nothing, it more or less absorbs brain cells that could have been spent more wisely. Now simply change the background and the words with the same exact guitar riff and silly animals and what do you have?



I never thought I'd live to see the day when America would comodify a spongemonkey. Possibly a form of reification being that the spongemonkey was not originally intended for a Quizno's commercial let alone any form of American television. Somehow, someway, an American food chain managed to commodify a british fictional creature to help sales, and amazingly enough it worked. Because love them or hate them, you can't help but talk about them.