Sexy Chocolate

Doing this blog has taught me a lot. Corporate America knows no shame. This commercial for Premium M&M's is just simply... absurd. Why in the world are M&M's being sexy!? They should not be spending their time trying to be sexy, they need to be spending their time being delicious. That is after all, what they are for. But no, new kind of M&M requires a new form of advertising. No longer the funny yellow and red M&M's of days past but now Ms. Green has to come in and just ruin everything. With the sexy voice describing all the things that go into this new M&M I couldn't help but stop and think. "It's just a freaking M&M!" How can you really spend 30 seconds describing it!? What happened to, just saying something about candy coated chocolate, melts in your mouth not in your hand. That was always good and plenty! Now you have to talk about infusing something with something else to make these new "premium" M&M's. I don't want to eat anything that is infused with something. Or at least I don't want to be informed that that's taking place. Dear God even the bags they come in are sexy! So sleek and stylish what in the world is going on!? Sure sex sells, but does it sell M&M's?


No. No no no. Please tell me she, er well THAT did not just do that. Pole dancing M&M's. Why!?! I mean I understand why but who took this on as a good idea? Are they trying to swindle young men into buying more M&M's? She has the classic boots, the walk, puckered lips, a sexy voice and a confidence that would make most men crumble, and don't forgot, her insides are chocolate! Now I thought that was bad enough that I would have to deconstruct an M&M but then I saw this video.



For the love of all things sane, please tell me that he did not just carry out an interview with an animated M&M. He did didn't he. Bordering, no wait, well beyond creepy this interview was one of many that the Ms. Green had. In an attempt to promote the new green M&M as the "new pink" for valentine's day Ms. Green went through several interviews with male news anchors of whom all ogle over her and how sexy she is, this Fox news anchor even goes so far as to do his best Austin Powers impression for some insanely creepy reason. I guess what I am just trying to say is that sex really does sell, and the basic ideologies of what is "sexy" can be simplified down to even make an M&M sexy. With the right voice, boots, legs and chocolaty insides just about anything can turned from an inanimate object into a sex image or object. I still can't believe she what she did to that pole.